Archive for April, 2009

a loses b
c loses d
it is profound how the
eminent outcome to all of our lives
exceeds anything we can hold
tangibly up to the sun
how the
absolute answer is the one thing
we find the most unknown

i wished my father a happy birthday
and he ask that i wish him
a happy next birthday

and as i was saying
i’m sure you’ll have a next birthday
i found myself thinking

i hope you have a next birthday

it will come
i know it will
and i know i will live past it
i don’t know how i will live through it
i will
no doubt
i just don’t know how

it was one of those days

the weather was hot
here in San Francisco
My mom came to see me
and we went to a play
she likes when I spend time with her
and then at night
i saw a performer who I really like
Kimya Dawson
who was great
it was her by herself
on stage in a small little club
and it was hot but nobody really minded
I was inspired
I met her afterwards and she was really nice
and it made the whole day
seem like it was just one of those rare
days where everything seems to fit into place and
i felt like i was here for a reason
there is no wind and there is no fog
the stillness just seeps inside
but it is all good
i am so glad
right now that
I am here

Published in: poetry | on April 19th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

i know this place

 i know that place
where death comes and sits beside me
i know this place
down at the bottom
of the soulless pit
blackness all around
and a weight so heavy
it pushes you into the
wet vile mud
i know this place
it’s not a question of why
it is just as it is
a coldness so raw
that it drips out your skin
where death is no stranger
sitting on your left
soothing your fear
fooling you into believing
that they are your friends
reaching it’s hand to grab hold
i know this place
and the ache keeps on pushing you
the pressure so great
your eyes beg to open
i know this place

 i don’t always go there
but when i do i always stay longer
each time it’s harder then the time before
to push off this death that sits beside me
i know this place
and i always find it
somewhere in me
to leave
as i always do

Published in: poetry | on April 18th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

there was a movie

we were together on the bed
our backs against the wall
as we watched

 i don’t remember what it was

 i had one leg over his
leaning my body into him
i rested my head on his shoulder

 i remember he reached into the bag
and pulled out a piece of popcorn
and gently placed it on my tongue

i wrapped my lips around his finger
tasting the salt of him
as he

Published in: poetry | on April 11th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

this is private

all of us
even those that are the most public
have our secret and private lives
the ones you never tell anyone
so in researching those that have gone before us
it is impossible to complete these jigsaw puzzles
there will always be a piece missing
that only those
that go through such an adventure
as walking through
this black hole of the unknown
flailing about
grabbing on to anything
that might sustain us
will ever know
it’s only we
who know who we really are

 and even then
it is a

Published in: poetry | on April 4th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

the fog

humanity is like a fog
blinding you
as you are riding
down stream
down river
feeling your way as you go
thrust into the current
jumping from flow to flow
navigating around the jagged rocks
hoping not to catch yourself
and it’s easy to think that those
who follow the current behind you
will enter into the same fate
but a fish swims across the path
right behind you
and for that instant the current changes
and ever so slightly the next person
is moved into another line
so who’s to say
if it means anything
everything to everyone
is slightly different

Published in: poetry | on April 3rd, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )