Archive for November, 2007

thanks

I’m looking inside to try and find the words that express the feelings I have hidden in the dark.

I know they’re there, waiting to be discovered, waiting to reveal themselves.

The pushing and pulling, the subtle vibrations.

I can feel the rumblings inside as those thoughts start to wake up.

Someone has put a key in the door and is slowly turning the lock.

Thank you for that.

Thank you for your inspiration.

Published in: poetry | on November 23rd, 2007 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

still

Quietly crouched behind a rock.
watching and waiting and wondering.

Am I still in love with you
Am I still here for you
Am I still thinking of you

I can still feel your warm soft lips
I can still feel your body as you lean into mine.
I can still hear you laugh
I can still hear you cry

I still care for you, emphaticly, enourmously,
I still remember all the wonderful things I love about you
I still believe in you

I am still …. as I let the water wash over me

I am still … silent …. patient … hoping …breathing

I am still

Here.

Wondering with all my heart ……Why am I still here?

It’s time. It’s definitely time to move on and be still no more.

Funny thing is …I think I moved on without knowing it

I was so still that forgot about you.

In my stillness I found something I had forgotten about that is much more important then anything I can think of.

In this stillness I found myself, I found my strength.

In my stillness I found the love I was looking for ……. in me.

I am still …. as I let the water wash over me

I am still … silent …. patient … hoping …breathing ….loving

I am still

Here.

Published in: poetry | on November 16th, 2007 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

i dreamt of you last night

I could feel your arms around me
And the warmth of your body
I could feel your breath against the back of neck
flowing inside my soul

 

The feeling of contentment
of comfort and the rush of living

 

In the distance I could hear the fog horn blow
The sound of solitude, of safety of peace

 

i dreamt of you last night and I can’t wait to feel that again

Published in: poetry | on November 15th, 2007 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

epidurals for breakups

Breakups are as common as spit
Next to Birth, Death and Taxes
pretty much everyone gets to experience it at one time or another.

A right of passage?

According to my friends it is. Their soothing words of advice?

“… the next one will be better!’

the next what? The next break up or the next boyfriend.

oh boy I can hardly wait.

I love my friends
The dearest and most honest people know
I would be a complete basket case, a giant decomposing bowl of mush, if you will, without them..

the common theme of advise was
” He’s a Loser!! Move On. What he did to you was crap. You are better then that. You are a fine person.”

Ah my friends. I do truly love all of them.

Although it diminishes the hurt and pain somewhat, no doubt this one still hurts.

I guess because I had developed such respect for his opinions and thoughts that when those opinions and thoughts thought ill of me, not wanting to engage in conversation, resenting who I was and whatever else. It was almost as if I was feeling those thoughts towards myself.

Of course I have the greatest friends on the planet, thank you very much, who each one in their own way opened up my eyes and gave me strength to believe in myself.

Not that I didn’t believe in myself and of course his thoughts are not mine ….. but ….inside it still hurts.

You know there should be an Epidural for Break ups.
I bet it would be a big seller.

I will survive, this I know. I am strong, this too I know.

And I have great friends that I will know until I die and beyond that.

I thank the powers that be for that!

Thank you!

But just for the record … Breakups Suck Ass!

Published in: poetry | on November 14th, 2007 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

LIFE

Always changing

On a minut level

Moment to moment Anything can effect a change

Uncontrollable by You or Me

And yet our quest is to always have a plan, a future, a mission

But change is inevitable

In a blink of an eye it can all change course

in a dramatic sweep into an oblivian

without sight we are in the cycle

spinning faster toward our infamous demise

……… but to remember change can surprise who we are, what we are, why we are

Life is Change

Always forward Never back.

I’m ok with that!

Published in: poetry | on November 13th, 2007 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )