Archive for the 'poetry' Category

i know this place

 i know that place
where death comes and sits beside me
i know this place
down at the bottom
of the soulless pit
blackness all around
and a weight so heavy
it pushes you into the
wet vile mud
i know this place
it’s not a question of why
it is just as it is
a coldness so raw
that it drips out your skin
where death is no stranger
sitting on your left
soothing your fear
fooling you into believing
that they are your friends
reaching it’s hand to grab hold
i know this place
and the ache keeps on pushing you
the pressure so great
your eyes beg to open
i know this place

 i don’t always go there
but when i do i always stay longer
each time it’s harder then the time before
to push off this death that sits beside me
i know this place
and i always find it
somewhere in me
to leave
as i always do

Published in: poetry | on April 18th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

there was a movie

we were together on the bed
our backs against the wall
as we watched

 i don’t remember what it was

 i had one leg over his
leaning my body into him
i rested my head on his shoulder

 i remember he reached into the bag
and pulled out a piece of popcorn
and gently placed it on my tongue

i wrapped my lips around his finger
tasting the salt of him
as he

Published in: poetry | on April 11th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

this is private

all of us
even those that are the most public
have our secret and private lives
the ones you never tell anyone
so in researching those that have gone before us
it is impossible to complete these jigsaw puzzles
there will always be a piece missing
that only those
that go through such an adventure
as walking through
this black hole of the unknown
flailing about
grabbing on to anything
that might sustain us
will ever know
it’s only we
who know who we really are

 and even then
it is a

Published in: poetry | on April 4th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

the fog

humanity is like a fog
blinding you
as you are riding
down stream
down river
feeling your way as you go
thrust into the current
jumping from flow to flow
navigating around the jagged rocks
hoping not to catch yourself
and it’s easy to think that those
who follow the current behind you
will enter into the same fate
but a fish swims across the path
right behind you
and for that instant the current changes
and ever so slightly the next person
is moved into another line
so who’s to say
if it means anything
everything to everyone
is slightly different

Published in: poetry | on April 3rd, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

what matters

i asked him if it mattered
he said no
okay so …. what matters
i asked
nothing he said

I ate my sandwich
he ate his

 and after a awhile
he looked over and said
love matters
i shook my head
and thought
love matters

and the sandwich
tasted that much better

Published in: poetry | on March 29th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

a word a smile a person

i could hear the crying in the other room
i slept as i walked following the sound
i walked in the room and the crying stopped
looking down i said
hey baby what you crying about
i reached down and put my hand on her stomach
she looked up at me and smiled
i rested my arms on the side of her crib
and rocked her back and forth
she reached up hers arms and i gave her her bottle
as she drank her eyes grew heavy and her arms relaxed by her head
i took the bottle and stayed a bit longer
sometimes it’s that easy
sometime it’s just knowing that someone is there
and they hear you
and they comfort you
we forget these things as we get older
and don’t want to be bothered
sometimes it’s just acknowledging someone’s existence
with smile or a wink
or a word

Published in: poetry | on March 26th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

it’s just like this…… in the end

You don’t know until you get there,
and you’re crossing from now to then.
That moment of unavoidable change.
You won’t know because it’s unimaginable,
how, when, where.
You just cross, mid sentence, mid stream, mid life.
Letting go of everything.
You have no choice, it’s just gone, you’re gone,
just like that.

Published in: poetry | on March 26th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

it was the flash of light that made me think i was dead

It was the flash of light that made me think I was dead, and as my eyes started to focus i could see parking meters and a shoe in the middle of the road and a woman walking briskly towards me in a sort of hysteria.
“Oh my god are all right, i didn’t see you, oh my god “…… and as this voice drifted into my ringing head I thought to myself, of course you didn’t see me, you were too busy talking to your car full of friends.
I picked myself up of the ground, my shoes were both off my feet, my gloves were shredded and my socks melted, and looking over to the right side of the corner i saw my scoot, 100 yards or so away, shoved up against a parking meter with it’s front fork bent at a 90% angle.
I guess you could say I was in shock, just drifting through the movement, auto pilot kicked in, i was disconnected but still completely aware, floating, still taking in the relevance of what i just went through.
I pulled a piece of paper out of my pocket and drew the intersection, and as i’m drawing explaining to her the geometrics of the scenario, describing…. “okay here is the intersection, you are here, in the center lane, me, i’m in the LEFT lane, you decide at the last moment that maybe you will turn left - right into me, my bike went left in the direction of the car, landing smashed against a parking meter, while i flew in the direction i was going, straight ahead, over the top of the car, on my head, against the pavement, skidding until the friction of my socks stopped me.”
I looked at her and tell her “THAT is what happened, please sign here”, which she does.

Published in: poetry | on March 26th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )


She sits hearing the knockin on the door, frozen in fear, she thinks out her strategy,
If the door is to open and the wrong facial expression or the wrong attitude or attire is confronted there is no winning the game that is at hand.

Where this started and why is still unknown, and what happened that motivated the sudden shift in feelings from adulation and love to spite, hate and a loathsome disrespect, is still playing on an endless loop through her head as she searches for an answer.

He has all the excuses except the one that means anything, that sleeps deep inside, that he’s hidden in all the beatings he’s received in the past, lumping together everyone and anyone who even dares to breach the solitary wall he has built around him.

There is no hope at this moment, it will take patience, time and a spiritual unselfish understanding without denial for him dig himself out, time of course is not what she has.

The window is open, the street only inches below, bags are packed and she sits listening to the knocking and voices she has buried under the thick skin protecting her like armor.

Like a dog chained to a fence post, she contemplates the unimaginable, then buries her teeth deep into her flesh and rips away the heart of her world and flees into the night, never ever looking back.

Published in: poetry | on March 26th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )

scratching the surface

it all starts here
a word a phrase
to inspire another
a thought so profound
you can’t help but respond

 I wish i could say that
buried beneath
this skin of mine
i have something as virulent
to contribute

 i keep scraping against it
something will reveal itself
so far nothing yet
so i leave you with these words
in a jumble
really not saying anything at all
except that my ineptitude
at dissolving into something
more palatable
is some what pathetic

Published in: poetry | on March 24th, 2009 | No Comments »
Howdy FL :  )