it wasn’t that you didn’t hear me
it was that you did
and somewhere between
what i said
and what you heard
the words got lost
the temper turned red
and a fireball
came screaming towards me
and all i had said was
” how’s your brother”
the other day i sat and watched
as the clouds came in and poured out
on to the streets
in the first big rain of fall
a few weeks back i leaned out my bedroom window
and watched as Angle Island burned in the middle of the bay
like a giant bonfire for all to see
and just a day ago
i watched my friend help an old blind man
across the street and heading in the right direction
this man has pride and self respect
i appreciate that
sometimes i wonder where mine has gone
but at the same time i believe it might be his undoing
he’s been blind as long as i have known him
my friend lives across the street from him
and when she sees him will help out if he needs it
but he wants his independence even though it is
an almost impossible task
he wants no cane
he wants no sympathy
he wants his ownness
he wants the ability without dependence
he feels his way against the stucco of the buildings
memorizing each crack and blemish
his road map home
his call of independence
in small amounts
it happens every day
most of us are afraid of it
changing what has become routine
into something unknown
little bits and pieces
reorganize and grow
but it comes and it goes
sometimes good
sometimes bad
but there is no way of stopping it
we are on a major brink of change
in the way we think
in our appearance to the rest of the world
in our perceptions
i welcome this change
a chance to walk into the unknown
of course everyday is like that
tomorrow never knows
but i wake up anyway
thinking there might just be a chance
for something better
something new and different
i embrace this moment that waits before me
life is change
change is the jingling in my pocket
every breath i draw points
to a change in how i
live
love
am
i wake to a fog that is burning away
always dreaming of a new tomorrow
a new start a new beginning
i look forward to this
i lay my head down
knowing that today
will be replaced by tomorrow
and right now has already passed
my life is the angles of the architecture
that shelters my vessel
the straight edges and curved lines
the abstract of the clouds
floating over my head
making faces that look down on me
passed that to the stars
that make up my disbelief and amazement
how is it that we are suspended here
stuck upon this earth drifting in this space
the soils that grow
moving flowers into the air
the spider that waits patiently
not moving not flinching
until it’s victim comes to it
the dirt and the pavement
i walk on to move forward
the pillow i lay my head down on
embracing it in it’s dream
my life is the water that keeps me awake
my life is abstract and angled
straight edged and curved
slicing it’s way through the mud
dirty in it’s lies and loves
sweating into the earth
just a piece of wood
turned into stone
no longer living
just there
rained upon
stood upon
faced against the elements
the rock slowly
drifting away
as dust
and i’m thinking about the letter
i’m writing to a friend
i always wonder
while sitting on this earth
how the hell does it stay up there
gliding across the sky
why doesn’t it fall
and then i think
how much i like flying in a plane
looking down at the earth
imaging all those that are here
occupying the same space as me
living and breathing this air
what it is that they are
looking down on their cars
and stores and houses
floating above their streets
and thinking about what my street looks like
and then the plane is gone
just the rumble of it’s engines
fading in to the rumble of the city
and i go back and finish
my letter to my friend
i just want to remain
neutral
i don’t want to belong to a party
i want what’s right
but how can this be
when we all see right
as something slightly different
and it’s exponential
the degrees of separation
a little bit here
a little bit there
just stay on point
what is the compromise
that we can all live with
or are there valleys so wide
that there isn’t a clear view
or clear incentive to just try and live
i’ll be nice
can you be nice
it’s always a compromise
it’s always a bit of mine
and a bit of yours
and bits of all the others
i refuse to pick a side
but i know one is better than the other
not the best
but definitely not the worst
i choose based on not choosing
the worst
a sad commentary on the world we live in
where the issues which are really important to us
get whitewashed by the theatrics
and the words that have nothing to do
with whether we will get better
ring in a cacophonous symphony
drowning out the real voices that should be heard
what has happened to common sense
what happened to striving for the common goal
all i really want
is to be comfortable
it’s simple really
to be able to eat
be healthy
and
love
i saw a man the other day
standing on a stairway leading to a door
he was preaching to a wreath on that door
he told it to take care
be safe
and to worry no more
he made large circles with his hands
and threw them toward the door
take care
be safe
worry no more
then he turned and looked at me
all will be well my child
he said
all will be well
i smiled and nodded my head
and said
all will be well
what else was i to believe
at that moment
it seemed like the right thing
i know my realities
but this made me smile
he turned back to the door
and began to preach again
he made large circles with his hands
and threw them towards the door
i walked home
thinking
take care
be safe
worry no more
okay you are on desert island
what would you bring
i thought about this a bit
because after all
it is a desert island
desert implying
lots and lots of sand
so my answer is this…
i would bring with me
the most indestructible
fully supplied boat
that way i could
motor my way back
to the mainland
and grab everything else
i might want to bring with me
there’s two sides to the story
both sides will try to convince you
that their story is the true one
you decide
whether it be by association
or intuition
it ultimately comes down to
you and me
to recognize what is that truth
and that truth
to some
means something
completely different
to others
go with your heart
some say
but what if your heart is blinded
by that which is greater then itself
you’re coddled into submission
like a dog lying on it’s back
as it’s belly get scratched
truth is a hard choice
one that most of us try to avoid
so which truth will it be
that is the question